For today's blog I'm going to try to make all of this mornings events make sense as a coherent post. Everything that happened this morning kind of shook me up and opened my eyes to alot of things. This one's a little more serious that the other ones, but hopefully you'll find it encouraging.
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So, last night I had a nightmare. I haven't had one in over 10 years that I can remember, but this one was extremely vivid.
It started out like any other dream. I think the part where I started remembering it was when a whole bunch of people I didn't know and I were riding these elephant like things in a river, just having a great time. It was kind of strange because the "elephant things" were swimming under the water and using their trunks to breath. Ya, I know, I have weird dreams sometimes.
Anyway, after a little bit I realized I was dreaming and thought to myself, "SWEET, I've never been able to realize in a dream that I'm dreaming. It was kind of cool because I was able to talk to people around me and almost consciously effect what was going on in the dream. Following this awesome realization, I thought I woke up. I honestly had convinced myself that what was now going on was, in fact, reality. That's why it shook me up so badly.
I'm not going to go into any details because I don't feel it's important for the whole world to know what happened in my nightmare, but I will share this. When I actually woke up, the only feelings I could feel were terrified and inadequate. I felt useless and hopeless. I looked at the clock on my phone.
6:18 AM
Tears just started rolling down my face, I couldn't help it. I just laid there for a bit and sobbed. After a little bit, I decided to try and get my last hour of sleep before I had to start going about my day. I rolled up into a ball and quickly fell asleep again, hoping to escape the nightmare. It didn't help. As soon as I fell asleep again, I started dreaming another dream.
It was strange because I thought I was awake again. The group of friends I hang out with and I were at this camp type thing. As we were leaving what seemed to be a dining hall, I told all of them that I had a nightmare last night, and I hadn't had one in over 10 years. Again, I still thought I was awake. They just shrugged it off and didn't care. One of my friends said, "just get over it, we don't want to hear it," in a very sarcastic manner.
After walking to a barn-type thing, my friends decided to have a dance. For some reason, this random kid from my childhood was leading songs and his mom was singing with him. Ya, it was strange. Anyway, I noticed all of them having fun without me. A song started playing they all knew the "moves" to, and I wanted to join in, but I couldn't.
Finally, my alarm went off. I woke up into the real world. This time I checked to make sure I was actually awake this time. I didn't want to get up, though. I didn't know what to do.
My girlfriend gave me a small one-year devotional book for Valentines day this year. It was lying on the desk next to my bed, so I grabbed it and opened up to today's devotion. It said something about taking the initiative in doing something for yourself. The important part about this was the verse it pulled from. For some reason I missed the fact that it was the 14th verse of Ephesians 5. All I saw was that it was from Ephesians 5, so I opened up my Bible and read the whole chapter.
Something stuck out to me I had never really noticed before. Mainly because the last time I looked at Ephesians 5 was for the post about men being real men, and the focus there was on the end of the chapter. Here's a link.
For some reason, Ephesians 5:15-16 stood out to me. "Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil." It puzzled me as to why this verse stood out because it had nothing to do with what had happened earlier. Even as I was getting ready, I still had no idea why that verse stood out to me.
At about 9:15, I sat down with one of my friends and talked about my nightmare. This particular friend was very vivid in it, so I needed to talk to them specifically. This was one of my very close friends, so it troubled me as to why they were such a big focus in my nightmare. Anyway, I related my story, and they said one of the most profound, yet simple, pieces of advice I've ever heard.
Don't stress.
Two words, ten letters, one space.
Don't stress.
For the past week, something just didn't seem right in the back of my mind. Like there was this looming thing hanging around, waiting to pounce. I couldn't get rid of it. After this, my friend suggested I do something to just de-stress. I needed to get my mind off of everything and just relax.
I walked over to Ford Music Hall and sat down at the piano. Room 116. My fingers hit the ivory and I just felt at peace. God's peace finally came over me and it felt amazing. I was singing songs, making up chord progressions, pounding on the keys, replaying memorable tunes, everything.
My stress left me and lifted away with the sound of the music. All of a sudden everything started to make sense. I could connect the dots. I was remember events and their purpose behind them. I could see now why certain things in my life were happening. It made sense.
If I go into explaining everything that happened, I would be writing all night, but my conclusion is this.
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Everyone needs to find something that releases stress. For me, it's playing the piano. For others, it's a run, a Bible study, a long shower or a boxing match. Whatever works for you. Do it.
Through this experience, I learned that focusing on too much at once will overload you. Something I don't like to admit a lot is that I almost always over-think things. Recent events caused my mind to explode and then the nightmare was the last straw. I had to let it out. Music through the piano let me do that.
After some thought, I went back to the Ephesians 5 verse. "Making the most of every opportunity." Unneeded stressing out was not making the most of my opportunities. So, the next time you feel like your stress level is going to make you explode.
Play the piano.
Keep being awesome! See you next week.
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