Thursday, February 23, 2012

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown (God's timing)

"Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains!" You just read that in the tune it goes to. Now you're smiling. Oh my, what a way to start a blog.

Anyway, since that introduction had nothing to do with the topic I'm going to write about today, here is the real reason I wanted to blog. Timing.

Yep, I think think this post will go along well with my blog about patience. Click! If you want to take a gander and read that one before you dive into this one be my guest. If not, enjoy!

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In my post about patience I talked about how God really wants me to learn the value of patience. Last night, I feel like I was enlightened on another issue closely related to this topic. That being timing.

I love having things done on my own timing. Seriously, I almost always need to have everything accomplished in a time frame that I can deal with. I think the most prominent example from my years living at home was with the cleanliness of our living area.

My siblings and I basically had the (finished) basement entirely to ourselves. This meant that it was primarily our jobs to keep it clean. At heart, I'm a neat freak. Everything needs to be cleaned from time to time and it should never get to the point where its an adventure just to find a place to put your foot on the floor without stepping on a Lego. So, I would often hound my brother and sister to clean their rooms and the basement. All on my timing.

I was so set in my ways that if I wanted something clean, it was going to get clean right then and there. There's no use in waiting til' later to get it done. It was on my timing. Finally, after many years of this, I realized how much that didn't work in getting my siblings to do any work. I had to work with their timing and be respectful of when they wanted to do it.

This small scale example only displays what I'm trying to get at on a human to human type level. That kind of timing can usually be worked out and justified as long as both parties are willing to cooperate. In some cases both people get what they want, in others, neither do. But what I'm going to address is on a much bigger scale. God's timing.

I am the kind of person that hates not knowing. It's also discouraging to me when big life events aren't on my timing. For example, in my post about God's provision, I was terrified trusting in God's timing. He worked it out in the end, but I had to wait, I had to be patient, and I had to follow His timing.

Last night at Bible study, someone talked about the amazing book of Habakkuk. Yes, that is actually a book of the Bible, it's in the Old Testament, and it truly is an amazing little book. The book is very artistic and well-worded (perfect for literary work connoisseurs) and woven within the three little chapters is an epic story of how God provides on His timing.

The verse I want to point out is from the 2nd chapter in verse 3. In context, basically, Habakkuk has been complaining to God and this verse is part of God's response: "For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." Focus in on that last sentence.


Waiting is almost never fun, but this verse gives us an encouragement. It will come. Everything will be clear one day and you will know everything you needed to know. 


One thing that is constantly on my heart is who my wife will be in the future. I know right now that I am dating a wonderful woman, but I don't know if she will be my wife. I probably won't know for many years, but this verse offers me hope. It tells me that even though I have no idea, in the future, some day, it will make sense. This could mean I'm supposed to be single all my life or that I don't get married until I'm 35. Only God knows that. It's encouragement is two-fold. 


1. Someone out there does know your future (that being God)
2. Eventually, you will know


Hopefully this verse and this book can bring you the same encouragement it has brought me. You don't need to worry about your future or a big event coming up in your life. Just wait and it will certainly come.

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Tune in next week for a little more lighthearted blog. I hope you enjoyed this one and that it was encouraging and uplifting to you.

Keep being awesome! See you next week.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

To be, or not to be, that is the question (Life)

And so I have conformed. Brayden Lans now has a blog. Only recently, in viewing my friends blogs have I really desired to write one.


I always thought people might like my ideas, might be interested in what I have to say. Course, that could just be coming from an overly hidden narcissistic ideal tucked away in my brain (big words I know).


But, the reason I really want to write this blog is to encourage and uplift everyone who reads it. My hope would be that in some way, you (the reader) will have a slightly new outlook on life by gaining access to some of mine.


Nothing more, nothing less. I wanted to begin by posting a note I wrote on facebook about a year ago. During this time, I was going through a couple trials in life and reflected on what really mattered. It doesn't really need much more of an introduction, so here you go. My first post:


I've discovered something you may or may not know,
now bear with me because this could be a shock to some people:

Life. Sucks...Alot.

Yes, there's the good times, the great times, the moments you wish would last forever,
and those you look back on and say, "if I could only relive that just one more time."
Your first birthday,
your first cake,
your first best friend,
the first time you got a dollar,
the first time you realized swimming isn't all that scary
Your first teddy bear you thought you'd never be seperated from
Your first A in school
Entering highschool was scary and exciting, all those big kids you'd be just like one day
You've grown
Things have changed
and for the most part these moments honestly didn't have as big of an effect on you as you thought they would.

Then there are the moments of sadness and depression.
The times you almost went crazy because you felt you couldn't take it anymore.
That moment in your life when you realize, why is my life so terrible, what did I do wrong?
That point of total lonilness and seperation, where you feel no one could ever possibly understand what's wrong
The thoughts of suicide, wondering why there's any reason to live anymore.
When your supposedly best friend stabs you in the back for the most worthless things
When people you care about could care less if you were alive
The times you cried
The times you hated
The times you felt ignored
The times you ignored
The times you slandered
The times you were rejected
The times that WEREN'T happy

It's these moments that make you stronger than you could possibly imagine,
these are the moments that stick with you,
the moments that pick at your brain
the moments that challenge your soul
the moments that. make. you. better!

Human's are messed up. No one is exempt, and there is no hiding from it.
If you try to cover it up, it's like trying to wash the dirt off of dirt itself. It can't be done.
sure you can dress it up and make it look pretty, but sooner or later, it's gonna come out.
There is a silver lining though. You are no better or worse than any other person in the world.
This physical life force and crazy thing we call life are not what its about. It's where IT all happens,
but its not what its about.

I can tell you one thing though
It's worth it.
All the pain,
It's worth it.
All the tears,
It's worth it.
All the suffering for seemingly no reason,
It's worth it.

Life. Sucks....alot

It's full of hard choices,
decisions you don't want to make,
situations you wish you could avoid,
people you don't want to deal with, 
anger you wish you could subdue,
but it's worth it.

Life. Sucks....alot
but it's worth it.

But why? If life is so terrible, how could it possibly be "worth it"?
I could throw numerous Bible verses at you.
countless speeches and books written by well known Christian authors.
But you know all the sayings, all the sunday school answers.
But WHY is it REALLY worth it?!

Everyone knows there must be something better, something greater than the hell we're going through right now.
Denying it would be lying to yourself, disagree with me, I dare you.
The purpose these sufferings serve is to make THAT all the more greater.
If you're happy with what you've got, why would you want something else?
If things were easy, what possible reason could you have to get something better?
If you liked this life, why would you want another one?

You see, this is why I think this life sucks sometimes, because the next is going to be so much greater.
Not only do the trials make you stronger in this life, it makes the next SO MUCH BETTER!
Imagine the pain you're going through now, and think if that pain were the exact opposite.
Excrusiating and exhausting happiness. 

Life. Sucks.
But It's worth it. 




P.S. In case you were wondering, the title of every blog post I write will simply be a random quote from Shakespeare. Here's the fun part, you have to find out which play its from. :)

Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows (Stress)

For today's blog I'm going to try to make all of this mornings events make sense as a coherent post. Everything that happened this morning kind of shook me up and opened my eyes to alot of things. This one's a little more serious that the other ones, but hopefully you'll find it encouraging.

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So, last night I had a nightmare. I haven't had one in over 10 years that I can remember, but this one was extremely vivid.

It started out like any other dream. I think the part where I started remembering it was when a whole bunch of people I didn't know and I were riding these elephant like things in a river, just having a great time. It was kind of strange because the "elephant things" were swimming under the water and using their trunks to breath. Ya, I know, I have weird dreams sometimes.

Anyway, after a little bit I realized I was dreaming and thought to myself, "SWEET, I've never been able to realize in a dream that I'm dreaming. It was kind of cool because I was able to talk to people around me and almost consciously effect what was going on in the dream. Following this awesome realization, I thought I woke up. I honestly had convinced myself that what was now going on was, in fact, reality. That's why it shook me up so badly.

I'm not going to go into any details because I don't feel it's important for the whole world to know what happened in my nightmare, but I will share this. When I actually woke up, the only feelings I could feel were terrified and inadequate. I felt useless and hopeless. I looked at the clock on my phone.

6:18 AM

Tears just started rolling down my face, I couldn't help it. I just laid there for a bit and sobbed. After a little bit, I decided to try and get my last hour of sleep before I had to start going about my day. I rolled up into a ball and quickly fell asleep again, hoping to escape the nightmare. It didn't help. As soon as I fell asleep again, I started dreaming another dream.

It was strange because I thought I was awake again. The group of friends I hang out with and I were at this camp type thing. As we were leaving what seemed to be a dining hall, I told all of them that I had a nightmare last night, and I hadn't had one in over 10 years. Again, I still thought I was awake. They just shrugged it off and didn't care. One of my friends said, "just get over it, we don't want to hear it," in a very sarcastic manner.

After walking to a barn-type thing, my friends decided to have a dance. For some reason, this random kid from my childhood was leading songs and his mom was singing with him. Ya, it was strange. Anyway, I noticed all of them having fun without me. A song started playing they all knew the "moves" to, and I wanted to join in, but I couldn't.

Finally, my alarm went off. I woke up into the real world. This time I checked to make sure I was actually awake this time. I didn't want to get up, though. I didn't know what to do.

My girlfriend gave me a small one-year devotional book for Valentines day this year. It was lying on the desk next to my bed, so I grabbed it and opened up to today's devotion. It said something about taking the initiative in doing something for yourself. The important part about this was the verse it pulled from. For some reason I missed the fact that it was the 14th verse of Ephesians 5. All I saw was that it was from Ephesians 5, so I opened up my Bible and read the whole chapter.

Something stuck out to me I had never really noticed before. Mainly because the last time I looked at Ephesians 5 was for the post about men being real men, and the focus there was on the end of the chapter. Here's a link.

For some reason, Ephesians 5:15-16 stood out to me. "Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil." It puzzled me as to why this verse stood out because it had nothing to do with what had happened earlier. Even as I was getting ready, I still had no idea why that verse stood out to me.

At about 9:15, I sat down with one of my friends and talked about my nightmare. This particular friend was very vivid in it, so I needed to talk to them specifically. This was one of my very close friends, so it troubled me as to why they were such a big focus in my nightmare. Anyway, I related my story, and they said one of the most profound, yet simple, pieces of advice I've ever heard.

Don't stress.

Two words, ten letters, one space.

Don't stress.

For the past week, something just didn't seem right in the back of my mind. Like there was this looming thing hanging around, waiting to pounce. I couldn't get rid of it. After this, my friend suggested I do something to just de-stress. I needed to get my mind off of everything and just relax.

I walked over to Ford Music Hall and sat down at the piano. Room 116. My fingers hit the ivory and I just felt at peace. God's peace finally came over me and it felt amazing. I was singing songs, making up chord progressions, pounding on the keys, replaying memorable tunes, everything.

My stress left me and lifted away with the sound of the music. All of a sudden everything started to make sense. I could connect the dots. I was remember events and their purpose behind them. I could see now why certain things in my life were happening. It made sense.

If I go into explaining everything that happened, I would be writing all night, but my conclusion is this.

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Everyone needs to find something that releases stress. For me, it's playing the piano. For others, it's a run, a Bible study, a long shower or a boxing match. Whatever works for you. Do it.

Through this experience, I learned that focusing on too much at once will overload you. Something I don't like to admit a lot is that I almost always over-think things. Recent events caused my mind to explode and then the nightmare was the last straw. I had to let it out. Music through the piano let me do that.

After some thought, I went back to the Ephesians 5 verse. "Making the most of every opportunity." Unneeded stressing out was not making the most of my opportunities. So, the next time you feel like your stress level is going to make you explode.

Play the piano.

Keep being awesome! See you next week.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Let my deeds be witness of my worth (Patience)

Today I'm going to talk about patience, what it has done in my life and how God has been teaching me. If there is one lesson God wants me to get right in this world, it's patience. Patience, patience, patience. I must say, it gets frustrating at times and I get impatient learning about patience (ironic I know, haha). However, through all these little lessons in my life, I hope you have a better understanding of what it means to be patient and why you should listen to God's tugs on your life.

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I come from a family of three siblings, with me being the oldest. My sister is a year and a half younger than me and my brother is 5 years younger. That alone should be the biggest clue that God wants me to learn patience. From a very young age, I realized that I am naturally not very patient. At all. Ever. I am the kind of person that wants it done now and needs to have things as soon as possible. I did not enjoy waiting for anything!

According to my parents, my little toddler self loathed nap time. I would much rather have poked the ground with sticks (at least that was productive right? *insert sarcasm font here*). It's just naturally who I am. In saying that, it doesn't mean it can't change or be refocused.

In life, we have to make hard decisions. It's easier for us to just do what feels right to our nature and then be done with it. People can change. For those of you that know me really well, I seem extroverted and very outgoing. This is true...for the most part. When I'm in a room with absolutely no one I know, it takes a lot of effort for me to go up and introduce myself or integrate myself into a conversation with strangers. I haven't always been able to do that, but I realized one day that it wasn't really that big of a deal and put in the effort to change that about myself.

To provide another example, I used to have problems with my anger. I would often let things get out of line, and I would yell and just be a jerk to my younger siblings. Especially when it came to competition. However, I saw that that was not a very good way to live, so I changed it. The anger still sometimes creeps up inside of me, but I've learned how to control it and it's not an issue anymore.

Before I get back to patience I want to add a little note here. People often think, "Oh, I'm too old to change anything about myself, so I'm pretty much stuck with what you see." I can tell you that you are simply lying to yourself. You can change if you want to, it's going to be hard, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

Are you introverted? You don't have to be if you don't want to.
Do you have anger issues? I've come to terms with mine, so can you.
Do you handle conflict very badly? Ask for advice on how to change.

It's possible

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Anyways, back to patience.

Throughout my entire life, God has been teaching me patience. I swear, if there is one lesson He wants me to be good at, it's patience.

I know this is going to sound cheesy, but where I drew my biggest lesson was from girls. Especially in high school, I wanted so badly to have a girlfriend. I thought I saw so many wonderful, awesome relationships through out high school and I wanted to have one for my own. The catch was that I wasn't being patient. Not only did I not realize that 99% of those relationships I saw are no longer in existence today, but they also ended up scaring most of the people involved.

Then there was this girl. Oh man, I thought I had it made. She asked me to Sadie Hawkins dance junior year of high school and I finally thought my waiting was over!!! I had found the one for me! God says, "Be patient." But that wouldn't do it for me, I wanted a relationship and I wanted it right then. So, we ended up talking that summer, and I thought things were going well, but long story short, it didn't work out. It was a tough time in my life because I had fooled myself into believing I'd learned my lesson on patience and she was my reward. Let me tell you, that is the completely wrong mindset.

Then I got to college, and it doesn't get any easier, trust me. I saw so many pretty girls during the first week of school, and I told God, "I'm going to find my future wife soon, I just know it!!!" Oh my naive little self. Funny to think that was only 6 months ago. Again, my impatience kicked right back in, slammed me in face and all I could do was run back to God.

Finally, one day it all clicked and I just let God take control. I was done being impatient. I was done investing so much of my time searching for the perfect girl. I just needed to let Him lead. And guess what? Not more than a week later I started hanging out with my wonderful soon-to-be girlfriend. I wasn't pursuing, she wasn't pursuing, we just started getting to know each other.

Now this is not to say that if you give God control, He's immediately going to give you what you've been wanting, it could take years for what you want to happen. I am saying though that giving certain aspects of your life over to Him are worth it.

Once we started dating I thought I had learn patience in and out. I mean I had waited almost 19 years for this to happen. That's my entire life we're talking here! But I realize now, patience is still being taught to me. I'm learning more and more what real patience is like every day. So, its not over, but I find that encouraging. God wants me to be good at something. James 1:4 says "Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I find it so encouraging that the God of the universe wants me to be mature and complete. He doesn't want me to lack anything. How I like to put it, He wants me to be awesome. That my friends, is well....awesome!

Thank you for reading yet another one of my blogs, and I hope you've enjoyed this one!

Keep being awesome! See you next week.

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Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

All the world's a stage (Selfishness)

Welcome back, I'm glad to see you've decided to 'enjoy' (hopefully) another one of my blog posts. Fun fact! Sometimes, I like to create sentences with horrendous grammar just for fun. Sense of which making does because the reason for which understanding comes still out of the sentence and interpret it still able will them. Just for funsies. :)

ANYWAY, I was kind of puzzled on what to write for my blog today, but I think I finally decided on what to write on. I'm going through a one year devotional and it brought up some interesting ideas that I would love to share my heart on.

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To begin, I want to look at Genesis 24:3-4: "Swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and earth, that you will not allow my son to marry one of these local Canaanite women. Go instead to my homeland, to my relatives, and find a wife there for my son Isaac." (NLT)

Kind of cryptic why I chose this verse, huh? Well, let me give you a little back story. This is Abraham talking to  Eliezer telling him where to find a wife for Isaac. He's telling Eliezer, very specifically, what kind of woman he wants Isaac to marry. Focus in on the word 'wants'.

Something I've been struggling with lately is the clash between 'want' and 'selfishness'. For some reason I haven't been able to justify what I want without feeling like I'm selfish. I'm very in-tune with what other people want, it's just the way God made me, and I love it! So, here's where we delve into God's word. I guarantee you, if you're wondering about something, dive into His word and you'll find an answer of some kind.

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Also a real quick disclaimer: As I'm writing this blog, I'm learning about this very topic. Moments before, I was struggling, so in a way, I'm using this blog as a tool to delve into this myself.

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Last Sunday during church the pastor preached on 1 Timothy 2:1: " I urge you then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone." (NIV) The first thing he says in this letter is that God want's to know and want's you to pray about what you want! Send your requests to God and He will take care of them.

I realized that we can't control other people. Shocker, I know. Instead of spending your energy on what you want, focus on other people. What I've learned in serving people is that if you put all your effort into making yourself happy and making sure you're satisfied, it just doesn't work. I think it's necessary to pour into other people's lives as well. Now, I'm not saying you should completely deny yourself in the pursuit of others happiness (something I've probably done more times than I should have), but that your sole focus shouldn't be on yourself and what you want.

God knows what's going on in your life, He knows what you want. But what kind of father would He be if He just gave us everything we ever wanted? How would you view a humanly father if all He did was give his kid everything he asked for? Adults know so much more about life than children and they want what's best for them. The same is true of God. He knows what we want and how badly we want it, but sometimes He doesn't give it to us because He can see the bigger picture. He's got the experience to know when we don't.

Going back to the selfishness vs. wanting thing, I think an important element can be added. Time. You know how every year you have a birthday? Most people in America will receive some kinds of gifts and money on that special day. What makes it special is that it only happens once a year. Think about it. What if you got something you've just been dying to have every single day for the rest of your life. It would be awesome for the first couple weeks, but after a while, I honestly think I'd get bored of it. I wouldn't appreciate it in any way. It's just another daily routine. That's selfishness. You simply get what you want and then you move on. It's completely self serving.

But here's where I think the distinction can be made. I want something, but am I willing to wait for it? Am I fine with waiting until it's the right time, or when I really need it? Can I justify the fact that if I wait long enough, will I realize that I might not even want it in the future? All these questions are coming to my head. You see when you're willing to wait for something, willing to give up the instant satisfaction you want, I think this points to a pure and simple want almost void of selfishness.

Life can be hard at times. There are days where certain things just set you off. There are times when you feel like you need something so bad, you're willing to do anything just to get it as soon as possible. It's hard to wait, trust me I know. But it's sort of like following God. If it's easy, is it really worth doing? It's like my first post. Life sucks, but it's worth it. The hard things in life are often the most useful.

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Sorry this post is a little more sporadic and haphazard, I didn't have as much time as I wanted to to write about this, but I hope I got my point across.

Keep being awesome! See you next week.